I haven’t been eating much, I don’t think
I can’t tell. It seems like a lot, but upon retrospection maybe it’s not. The only reason I know is because when I eat, I never get full. My stomach wails at me. But it is not in a binging way, but rather a cry for help. Real help. Like my stomach is begging me to nourish it.
But I have been eating. I’ve been trying to lose weight for when I go to Europe next year. I call it “lifestyle change”. I just don’t eat things that are bad for me. For breakfast today I had some fruit, some “cabbage salad” (coleslaw essentially without the mayo), a bit of “garden salad” (cold pasta with lots of nuts and broccoli and things), and some pasta with a clear clam sauce. It took me a while to eat— I was so hungry but was so full at the same time. It was very confusing.
Then, for dinner, I had the same pasta, the cabbage salad again, and two hard boiled eggs. I had a chocolate mousse (60 calories) as a snack, an orange, and a piece of light swiss cheese (35 calories).
I feel like that should be enough. But I don’t remember the last time I had more than two meals a day, and even those are a bit pitiful. I feel like the quantity of my intake isn’t the problem, but rather the quality. I am eating so low calorie that I feel tired all the time. But I’m eating healthy.
I mean, I THINK it’s fine. But I am constantly hungry and I feel it stabilizing my moods. I don’t feel as violently sad anymore or violently anything, really. Just normal. But my stomach always hurts quite a bit.
It doesn’t make much sense to me. I’m definitely eating enough for this NOT to be considered an issue. Yet my body is freaking okay. I don’t get it. Oh well.
