December 2010
When someone says something so stupid I'm in shock
aka Nicola about Reeta
Me: whats your new years resolution?
Kevin: fuck bitches get money
Day 4: Write about your closest friend(s)
Doing this tomorrow. Don’t feel like doing it now.
Day 3: Your favourite television program
I’d have to say The Office. So. Funny. It’s witty, it’s true, it’s hilarious, it’s depressing, it’s amazing.
Day 2: Talk about your piercings, and tattoos, if...
I kinda have my ears pierced. Don’t have anything else cause my mom is psycho. Yup.
Day 1: Middle name and how I feel about it
Esther
I like it… I’m not crazy about it, I guess, but I’m glad it’s not something common like “Rose” or “Jane” or something ridiculous. I would never go “Isabel Esther”… but I do like it the more I actually think about it. It’s unique and it’s beautiful.
Beautifully fucking
Deranged with a
Knife in her back and a
Snake in her throat
See the flowers?
Blossoming from
Her thighs like
Morning lilies
And chainsaws
She laughs ‘till
The vines caress
Her soul and
Invade her body
The world stops
Everything is wonderful and
Life is beautiful and
Birds are singing and
She slits her throat
The warmth of the
Blood makes her smile as
...
This Christmas was
okay. Barely got any presents, but I didn’t want much… towards the end I got kind of detached. I got viola lessons, though, but barely. I tried to get out of my parents when they would start and I was attacked, which was great. So I came up here so I could cry in the privacy of my own room and now I’m downloading Wizard101. Yay!
At least I’m in Columbia. Can’t wait...
Wearing my Mathematica shirt today
Yeah, sensing your jealousy… (;
“Myrmidons! My brothers of the sword! I would rather fight beside you than any...”
– Achilles
fuckingg tara
you define egocentrism.
Listen
Whenever I want to cut
I think of Columbia and I don’t (:
“Jumping off of the edge,
Oversleeping your head,
Everything’s turning dark to...”
– 3OH!3
Revised
when i was one second old i was popping out of my mother and screaming because it was too cold when i was one year old i was trying to hit the button because it would make me giggle when i was two years old i was laughing and walking around naked because i didn’t like clothes when i was three years old i was playing on my swing set because i liked touching the sun with my feet when i was...
I don’t want to have George be a part of my life anymore… Not that he is right now. But I want to make it official. I think I’ll just message him on skype tomorrow and tell him that it hurts me to see his name on my list (not as much anymore though) and it’s silly to pretend we talk. Then I’ll let him know he can keep me added but he won’t see me online because...
Today was amazing
Like, everyone there was AWESOME. I love Columbia so much <333 I can’t wait to hang out with everyone again.
Just read in some survey
“How do you want to die?” and the person answered “jumping off a building” and I can barely breathe. I wish I had my scissors. I guess it’s better I can’t find them…
Or worse. They keep me from killing myself. Which, btw, I really want to do right now.
I would take a bread knife and open up my throat and rip out my esophagus, and then I would bleed to...
Today was good
But Nicola/Kevin were drunk and didn’t tell me… which made me really uncomfortable afterwards. I really don’t like hanging out with people and not knowing why they’re laughing or wanting to be with me. I mean, I guess it’s just insecurities, but I don’t care. I really hate it. :(
Jon and Cola broke up. I think. They were making out at my house after they broke...
BTW
I told Matt a few weeks ago that I hated him and then I defriended him. Finally, after how many years? I stood up for myself. Go me (:
I was thinking of the hopsital today
And how I couldn’t shower and stuff… and then I started really thinking about it, and I got confused. Am I over it? Or have I just repressed it? It was so… fucked up. I don’t understand how anyone can get over something like that. Maybe I’ll bring it up with Dr. Slater the next time we have a meeting. We haven’t in a while and today I definitely felt horrific. I...
Love Columbia so much...
This is the star, this is your heart This is the...
I'm so obscenely happy
asfgsa789ashga like I’ve never been this happy in my life
isabelwhatx:
lol
ily
valuhree1730:
well i'm tired as fuck
night
love you
congrats again
isabelwhatx:
thanks
valuhree1730:
isabelwhatx:
omg
can't
believe
this
juliaa93:
BELIEVE IT, GIRLY. COLUMBIA CLASS OF 2015, WHADDUP?
isabelwhatx:
OMG AHHHHHHHHHH
juliaa93:
: -D
omg *HUGS*
isabelwhatx:
omg julia i'm so happy haha
like
if i could choose any university to attend in the world
regardless of my grades
or their expectations
or the cost
or ANYTHING
i would choose columbia's engineering school
and i have the priviledge of actually attending that school
isabelwhatx:
i'm WELCOMED to attend that school
it's just really crazy
some people are torn between their colleges
which is totally understandable
but i'm not
and although i worked my ass off for this
i really lucked out
and i'm soooo grateful and just so happy omg
it's crazy to think about...
juliaa93:
: -)
it's so awesome
Roar, lion, roar!
I GOT IN I GOT IN I GOT IN I GOT IN I GOT IN
“Coles and four other students, Harrison David, Adam Klein, Jose Stephen Perez...”
– CBS
“I was totally calm up until the 24 hours mark, then I **** bricks.”
I find out in less than 19 hours!!!
“One of the East Village suppliers is charged with trying to kidnap a pair of...”
– Village Voice
I find out on Thursday
Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit
Listen
I'm killing myself
I find that kind of funny. I now realize I stop taking my medicine because I want to DIE. Because my life isn’t worth the effort anymore.
In my head I’ve been devising suicide plans. If I stopped taking my medicine I wouldn’t die because of my defibrillator, but I can’t cut it out and die. I would be in too much pain to get my heart rate high enough. I COULD tape a...
I just had a breakdown and
Now I’m exhausted… I wish everything would just WORK. I wish everyone would stop being so sensitive. I wish idiots wouldn’t be angry without justification. I wish school would stfu. I wish someone would hug me. I wish I wasn’t so drawn to reading about different suicide techniques. I wish I knew what kind of mindset I’m in. I wish I wish I wish.
